Yesterday was a Jaw-dropper. An Unbelievable History!

I was really ecstatic yesterday night because of all the good things that flowed unto me. Mom went to our school to settle some stuff there as regard to my schooling last SY 2009-2010. I noticed that there was a long brown envelope on top of the radio in our living room. Obviously, mom brought it home the time she was in school. It really caught my attention and the time I was about to get it, dad immediately got it and threw it in my room and said to himself or to my mom, "Hayaan mong magkulong yan sa kwarto niya pag nakita niya 'to." I didn't understand why he did and said such. I thought it was just an ordinary envelope with some school documents in there so why should I make a big fuss out of it, right? But I was wrong. It wasn't just the usual envelope with some papers inside! The moment I took a peek inside, I saw the words "UP" and "Los Baños" inside and some degree courses that branch offered. Curious, I brought out all the stuff inside (which were some papers and TWO royal-blue coated cardboard that indicates that there is something special inside) and instantly grabbed the paper I was reading with the words "UP" and "Los Baños". It was only later that I realized that it was an UPCAT Application Form for AY 2010-2011. Holy Cow! I can't believe it! I never expected this from my school!!! I was jumping for joy that time in my room and went into further reading on that form (I am this joyous because I never had the opportunity to take the UPCAT during my senior year). I texted two of my UP friends and gave me soulful advices about this. I'll consider what Jona told me that I shouldn't go for Diliman-Manila campus because the fight is pretty tough there. It was even stated in the form. She suggested that I must go for UP Los Baños as my second choice of campus aside from making UP Diliman/Manila campus as my first choice. It's also surefire way to get in to UP and she has a point. I'll take that. =) I just hope that my F137 would already be settled (and I do believe that it is settled alreadyü) because that is also one of the killer requirements in the UPCAT, aside from the form itself. I know God will help us with this...

Next is the TWO royal-blue special papers I took out from the envelope a while ago. It reads:

President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
Award of Outstanding Achievement

It was two pieces because one is for Student Leadership ('coz I was the President of the Student Council last schoolyear) and the other one is Skills Development and Entrepreneurship. Again, I didn't expect that my school would give me this because the educational standards of our school is quite poor. To be able to receive this kind of award, you must be able a graduate of a good school, isn't it? This should be given on th day of our Commencement Exercises last March but due to some reasons that I don't know, it wasn't given to me on the day of our graduation. I'm sorry to tell this but the truth is, that's how RUBBISH the standards and administration of the people who have a position in our school. Always late and always delayed. Total crap. Anyway, better late than never.

And lastly, I was happy (and super KILIG!) because I had a chitchat @teentalk with Martin Del Rosario; one of the Candy Cuties. The teentalkers who joined the chatroom had a fancy conversation with him, including me. =P I don't find him handsome nor cute at first. He's totally NOT my type. But the time I saw him there in the chatroom (there was a live streaming ongoing), I was mesmerized by his good looks!! OMG. I automatically find him cute and charming. hahahaha! He is also the blockmate of Jona in UP, btw. LOLS. I was actually "nambabara" the moment I was in the chatroom and saying crazy stuff to him already while others are having kilig sessions with him. I won't elaborate it to you anymore one by one coz it's a wee bit long. :)) Oh wait. I'll speak in tagalog already, okay? HAHAHAHA. Medyo naaasar nako kasi hindi ako napapansin ni Martin (I don't even know that he knows that I am existing in the room) sa kinadami-dami ng teentalkers na nandun. He was already flooded by messages by them. E my day is making "layas" me na sa laptop kasi he will use it na... Tama ang timing ko! Na-enter ko yung message na yun sa oras na wala masyadong nagse-send sa kanya ng messages (maybe one or two lang pero walang kwenta naman ata yung pinagsasabi nila, hahaha)! I frankly said to him,

"martin! please greet me before i leave! pinapalayas nako sa laptop eh. :))"

Surprisingly, he wrote my name!!! SHIT. He said:

"nicole"

And I was super KILIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG TO THE BONES!!! Wahahaha! I wanna melt. xD Sabi ko nga sa dad ko, "WAAAAH! Maagang pabirthday gift na to sakin!" haha, that's how crazy and wild I get when I'm crushin' someone. Harhar.

Disconnection notice received.

Just a while ago, w receive a disconnection notice. We have an unpaid bill of P1,699.80 and the deadline's on May 28, 2010.

We're doomed. VERY MUCH DOOMED. O God, please help us... :'(

Me in Cebu? Tss...

Okay, dad's waiting for a phone call right now to confirm if he's gonna work there in Cebu already. This is a bunch of sacrifices for me. I am very close with my dad so much and then he'll go? ;( Ohwell, I think he doesn't want this thing to happen too. He's just doing this for our family's "survival" though... If I go with him, mom will, too. She can't be left alone here in Antipolo. And since the whole family's there, there is a big possibility that we might stay there for good (which I dreaded the most).

But then, I have decide. I'll stay here in Manila with mom. This is so painful-- to be away with someone you dearly love. Aw. Kapit sa patalim... KAPIT SA PATALIM. Ugh.

Dad's doomed again. I hate seeing my family like this.

We're fucked up, okay? Why o why??!

*sad face*

Tulog na lang ako nang tulog. Hay. Mas mabuti pa nga ang matulog eh. I feel refreshed. Pag gising naman, I feel depressed. :o

It feels like I'm in Dreamland right now. -________-


1 : 30 am natulog
4: 45 am - nagising
6: 00 am - bumangon na sa bed at nagnet
7: 00 am - nakaranas ng anotk sa pagnenet at nagdesisyong matulog ule
11: 12 am - nagising
12: 00 nn - lunch
12: 45 pm - sleep again
3: 15 pm - wake up


How boring naman this kind of life. Amp.

O Chopsuey, layuan mo ako...

Yan ang subject ko ngayon sa thread ko in Teentalk. You might be wondering what the fuckin' hell a chopsuey does in my life. Well... Lately, yan lang naman ang madalas kong kainin these past few weeks. No, it's not because I'm on a shitty diet... But rather, wala kaming moolah ngayon eh so kelangan gulay ang kainin. Sila mom and dad nga, ang kinakain na lang, yung mumurahing isda at kamatis... HAY. DAMNIT. Sawa na nga ako sa walang kamatayang chopsuey eh (nagmumukha na nga akong chop eh) pero hindi ko naman magawang makapagreklamo kasi maraming mga bata dyan sa buong mundo ang walang makain at namamatay na lamang sa gutom.. ;( Tsaka if I'm really hurt by our sich right now, what more sila mom and dad diba? So ayun...

Habang maiksi ang kumot, matutong mamaluktot.

Bili na po kayo ng contact lenses kooo!!

Please lang po. Bili na po kayo. :|


^Shortest post so far.

From First Honorable Mention to Seller of Contact Lenses

I am a highschool graduate now and this is really one sad, sad truth about me today....

The smarty pants that people in our school refer to is now selling almighty contact lenses online. We need the money. So, no choice but to do this even though I might look silly or dumb in this kind of thingy... Sometimes, I feel so down ad humiliated by the very fact that I'm just a tindera nowadays. Well, can't help feeling that way. I'm not bragging but you know, I believe that I am one smart fellow and because of that, I am open to possibilities, isn't it? I can be studying law, engineering, accounting, or medicine (which has always been my passion) for college because of the wit I possess yet here I am, doing this?! UGH. This hurts me a lot. It's just so painful... I wish there's a genie out there to help me. But then, I think they only exist in fairytales... No things such as that in REALITY. But I came to realize that there is nothing for me to be ashamed of. So what if I am just a tindera nowadays? The important thing though is I have a decent career...

I believe I gave my all this summer already. I applied for a job in the gym and the city hall but was initially rejected. I'm so tired doing and feeling this. So this is my only hope, contact lenses... I'll invest here and hopefully, things might get okay as before.

.I believe in HOPE. I believe in CHANGE.
I AM CHANGE (no matter what my situation is today).

Here's some aww... :)

TEACHER: How important is a period?
JUAN: Very important maam, coz when my sister missed her period,

my dad cried, my mom fainted and her bf disappeared

___

Hanggang ngayon pa ba hinihintay mo pa yung taong magmamahal sayo?

Wag kang maalala, ON THE WAY NAKO. --baka dapat, on MY way. lol

^shiiiiiit. may naaalala ako dito. :P

A blessed, blessed day!

It's a blessed Sunday today, honey. I fell asleep a while ago after my yummy breakfast. And as I woke up, I went to my phone if there are messages for me. And there is! There is one quote there and it kinda struck me... in a good way. :)

The Lord hides EVERYTHING in NOTHING.

He hides a TREE in a SEED. He hides a KING in a SHEPHERD BOY. He hides a SAVIOR in a BABY.

Aren't you excited to see what HE's hiding in YOU? Be prepared for the BIG BLESSINGS that GOD will provide YOU in the coming days...

With this quote in hand, my faith in Him became stronger. Lately, I'm becoming less closer with God due to the myriad l problems . And thanks to this! I finally found my lost self. I was focusing too much in my problems that I failed to see the important things in life which is God whom I always ignored during those times... This reminds me of my all-time favorite movie, Patch Adams; specifically, the conversation of Hunter Patch Adams and Arthur Mendelson on the hands part...

Arthur Mendelson: How many fingers do you see?
Hunter Patch Adams: Four.
Arthur Mendelson: No no! Look beyond the fingers! Now tell me how many you see.

---

Arthur Mendelson: You're focusing on the problem. If you focus on the problem, you can't see the solution. Never focus on the problem!

Arthur's right. Never focus on the problem. Shame on me. That's just what I did. UGH. Butthen, it's never too late too realdize things. The good part is that I still came to the peak of realizing this stuff...AGAIN.. :)

Lovin' my long hair.

I want to wear my hair like this... Even my dad told me that years back. He wants to see me always with that Rapunzel hair. :)) Though it's summer, my hair is long, black, and wavy that ends in my waist.

What I love in my hair is you can style it in any way you desire. It can be a high pony, dread locks, a french twist, you name it. Think of Barbie! *wink!* I feel so girly-girl in every time I move around and my hair flips like that. Haha! It's also a surefire way to catch the eye of the opposite sex. LOL.

What turns me on. :)

- Fair-complexioned
- Nice eyes
- Nice built
- Long-haired fellas
- at least a 5'8 height

Okay, enough of the "outside" stuff. That's only the first half. The second half goes to the invisible... What is really his attitude? Yeah, I'm very keen to a great personality out there too coz what's the ooh-la-la looks forif the core's a mess, right? TRASH. As much as possible, I want someone with a good heart or at least, the one who can make me laugh heartily. As if there's no dull moment with him.... For me, that's the bull's eye. ;)

Nicole has this sick obssession with a gay. >:)

I was tumblr-ing over a week ago and I found someone there... For me, he's one hot cutie and yeah, my type of shit. :P So I followed him. To my surprise, he followed me too. So imagine how big my smile was. hahaha! I initially grabbed the opportunity to message him (I forgot what I told him EXACTLY but I do remember myself asking him a "gender" question) right away. Gahd! I'm so damn hoping that he wasn't. :| Days passed, still no reply... Probably, he's busy or what. I dunno. Then finally, one message popped in my dashboard as I was surfing along the same site. It was him!! Holy cow. He said, "Thank you so much! And yes ma'am, I'm gaaay. :D" Okay, I can still forgive him by calling me MA'AM. But Err. Did he just confirmed about his identity???! I wish I didn't asked him that anymore.. *sigh* So look at me now, busted.

But then I still continued my stalking. :)) As a matter of fact, I added him as a friend in FB. ;) And the good news is he added me as I checked my facebook just a while ago. Yeah rock. This is the fuckin chance man, this the fuckin chance! bwahahaha! But he said in his fb profile, "Don't flirt with me. Don't flirt with me. Don't flirt with me..." so that made me have a step back. But nowaaaaaaaaay. I'm one aggressive monster. LMAO. Once I like a guy (regardless of the gender), I'll still continue beating him around. hahaha! But no worries, I'm taking it slow. ;P The time he confimed my add, I deciced to comment him so I fired, "hi there! thanks for the add! :)" And omg!! He said, "Hahaha, no problem! :D" My reply, "I saw your fb in your tumblr so I hit it. lol:))" His message back? Hmm. He's quite boring o talk to. He just said, "Hahaha, aw! Okaay. xD" What's a good reply? Hmm.. Okay, I'll be straight to the point. I'd like to be his friend. I'll tell him that. Oh God! This gives me the goosebumps. O_________o This is the first time I'm flirting with a gay. :|

Paano ko haharapin ang araw na to?

Sa tumblr ko sana ilalagay itong post na to. Kaso naisip ko, follower ko pala yung kababata niyang si Thea. So, hindi pwede. Kelangan magingat. Damnit. Any, sa mga hindi nakakaalam, ang araw na to ay mahalaga sakin dahil birthday ng lalakeng minsang naging importante sa buhay ko noong taong 2009. Si Elijah Arnold S. Garcia na sa pagkakaalam ko, ay nasa California daw ngayon. At meron na din yung girlfriend-- si Jen. I envy that girl much. Kung alam lang ni Eli... Hay. I still have feelings for him. Hindi ko lang masabi-sabi kay Thea at lalo na ke Eli kasi nga may commitment na siya kay Jen eh. Di naman ako relationship wrecker. :| Im still trying to forget him 100% though medyo nakamove-on na rin ako ke Eli months ago. Hay. Ang hirap talaga ng sich ko ngayon... Di ko alam kung itetext k siya or what (baka sakaling roaming yung sim niya).
*smug face*

For me, she has changed...

*NP: Love U - Howl, Fight the Bad Feeling - T-Max, Wish Ur My Love - T-Max*

"Change is the only permanent things in this world."

My Econ teacher was right. Change is the only constant stuff in this world. This is one sad truth about dear life... Now, I'm not quite used to what I'm seeing in her today.

Yes, she is still that bubbly, kindhearted girl but then I don't know.. Three's something fishy goin' on. She seems a bit strange with her actions nowadays. She's taking things too seriously; not just with her attitude but also of her thinking. I told her this last night and I do believe that she was really bothered by this thing I've told her.

As her best friend, I just want to be open with her. No secrets. Whatever it is that goes on with my heart, I just want to share it with her so that's what I did. I didn't have any idea that she'll react that way. Too sarcastic. :| I find this a wee bit "extreme" or OA much already. I began to think, ako pa ata ang nagkamali dahil sa sinabi ko sa kanya yung totoong saloobin kong ito. But then I realized, hindi naman. I was just sharing with her my own evaluation of her lately, right? Actually, I've noticed this thing happening ever since the start of her summer classes at a Review/Academic Center in her place. I tried to keep it from her but then, I can't take it anymore so it was only now that I spilled the beans...

Before, she's very studious and goal-oriented. Now, she's even MORE studious and even MORE goal-oriented to the extent that she said in her group message last night that if she had to choose between being the BEST STUDENT and BEST FRIEND, she said she'd rather choose being the BEST STUDENT. This had hurt me badly coz this gives me a hint... I'm not far more important, being one of her best friend, compared her studies. And I guess she's right. Her future is MORE of her priority than still pursuing this pointless friendship. >.< And maybe I should also think that way...

My studies is MORE important than having a best friend...TOO.

So, quits lang...