A HEART-BREAKING DAY FOR ME.

I'm not broken-hearted because of a guy...it's because of a friend. A best friend, rather...


ANG LAKI KONG TANGA.

^Yan marahil ang masasabi ko sa sarili ko ngayon. Last night kasi, my best friend and I had a misunderstanding (to tell you guys frankly, i's a long-disance friendship. She's from Bicol and I'm way up here in Antipolo. We've met sa isang text clan over a year ago). She always gives me load since last year pa (I even remember myself keeping a track record pa nga of the numerous credits she had given me before wherein I promised to pay her back but eventually, she declined the offer. Magaaway daw kami pag ginawa ko yun). Again, last night, she gave me the usual "P25.oo worth of credits has been loaded to..." so I used it to make myself 'unli'. At dahil din sa load na yan nagsimula ang conflict...

I dunno. She began to think na lang na yun lang ang habol ko sa kanya--load. So I was thinking, she thinks I'm a user... I know hindi ako ganung klaseng tao. Kahit nga mangutang ng piso, di ko kayang gawin eh. Pag ginawa ko yun, sobrang hiyang-hiya nako sa sarili ko... So, I had to defend myself that very instance. I just told her the truth and nothing but the truth. So I said, though not exactly as it is,

"Thanks sa load. Yeah, as of now, I'm relying to you for my load coz it's summer. Walang allowance eh. (btw, NEVER in my life ako humingi sa kanya ng load...kahit piso. KUSA niyang ibinibigay ito) Pero don't think na yun lang ang habol ko sayo. Hindi ako manggagamit..."

And I know myself. I'm not a user...EVER! Alam ko iba dyan, gustong malagay sa posisyon ko kasi gusto lang nila makatanggap ng load. Wag na tayo magpakaimpokrita. LAHAT naman ng tao, gusto makatanggap ng load diba. Pero iba ako. Nalulungkot ako, sa katunayan, pag nakakatanggap ng load. Kasi it gives me the notion that "may kakulangan ka sa buhay" or simply, "poor", kaya ka nga binibigyan ng load ng ibang tao... Yes, we're poor but then, hindi ako ganung klaseng tao na humihingi ng load. I always stand on my own feet kahit na hirap na hirap nako sa buhay ko. Why? Because I was not raised upthat way by my parents and I'm not that type of person talaga...AT ALL. Nagtaka nga ako eh kung bakit na lang ganun yung inisip niya. Alam kong alam niya na hindi ako ganung klaseng tao... Ang tagal na naming makaibigan (one year na) tapos ngayon lang niya basta-basta iisipin ang ganun? It's so weird... Pero pinatunayan ko talaga sa kanya na hindi ko talaga habol yung load kaya ang ginawa ko, sinauli ko ang P25 load sa kanya... Dito nagalit siya (ayaw niya kasi na sinasauli ko ang bawat load na binibigay niya sa akin eh). But then, I replied,

"...hindi na baleng magalit ka sakin. Basta wag mo lang isiping USER ako."

Ang hirap makatulog kagabi. Pero pinilit ko pa rin, though with a heavy heart. This is the first morning na nagising ako na mabigat ang loob in my Summer 2010. Then all of a sudden, her mom texted me using Lyra's (my best) phone... Naerase ko na yung ibang messages eh. Pero may dalawa pakong nasave dito, thankfully.

"Dont call me maam. Im just your friend's mother. Lyra didn't tell you anything? I told her to tell her friends immediately coz i knw that its hard to say good bye. Weeks before her tita called from the states. She wants lyra to study there and not just for vacation. Lyra is still sleeping here in the car. I guess shes tired." (11:24:06 am; 09-04-2010)

"But then i said to her its on her hands pa ren. Its her future we are talking about. I want her to be happy. And i want to thank you for being a good friend to her. She has told me many things aboout you. Especially when you give her advices. Thanks." (11:33:18am; 09-04-2010)

^^Ay, ala e. Dito na talaga ako nagbreak down!!! Nang mabasa ko to, I locked myself in my room and yeah, cried. Yep, emo time! hahaha. Di ko inexpect na may iba pa palang tao na naka-appreciate ng mga gestures ko. *smiles* For me naman kasi, that's the duty of a friend eh. Lam mo pag naging kaibigan kita, hanggang sa huli, nandyan pa rin ako anumang imperfections and issues man ang makita at marinig ko from you... It's like seeing an imperfect person PERFECTLY.

Tsaka dito naaalala ko pa yung reply ko sa mom niya:

"I see.. Im glad to hear that you appreciate my gesture. Im doin all of ths bcoz i consider Lyra as my best friend.. Again, thank you very much for tellin me ths. It's my honor to meet my friend's mom. Take care po."

At ayun, nadelete ko yung reply ng mom nya hehe yun ay dahil full inbox na daw ako, sabi ng lint*k na Nokia 3220 kong cellphone. :))

-----

Oh, ang bigat bigat ng loob ko kanina ah. Ngayon, mejo umokay na. Thanks to the following:

Tin and Claire, my teentalk friends. Ginawa pa nilang YM confie yung thread ko dun. =))

Thea, sa kanyang napakagandang advice (kung saan napaghalatang di ako marunong gumamit ng fb :P).

Lyra, alam mo na kung ano..hahaha! Basta, napagusapan na natin ito. :)